How to Ask for Help
How to Ask for Help
Over the years, I have prided myself on being able to take care of myself. I didn’t need to ask to borrow money from family (thankfully no major emergencies!). I was able to take care of the house, kiddo, and animals without much assistance – hubby did his part though!
But once the twins were born, that all changed. My mindset changed.
It had to – or I would have gone crazy.
In saying that, though, it was not at all easy to admit that asking for help is actually a sign of strength, not weakness. It takes awhile to admit that to yourself. It’s a pride thing; it’s a self-esteem thing; it’s a confidence thing. It’s all of these to some people.
But, I have realized now that it takes a strong person to say “Hey, I can’t do this – I’m brave and strong, but I need your help to get me where I need to be”. It takes guts.
And I also realized this – people like to help. I know I like to help others – it makes me feel good. So, when asking someone for help, you are giving them a chance to feel good too. So it’s a win-win – you are getting the help you need AND helping them feel good by helping you. Sweet!
So, why is it so freakin’ hard to ask for someone’s help?
- You don’t want to be a burden – see above: people love to help!
- Fear of admitting you are out of control – it sucks to admit you are failing. But it’s ok – if you are failing at something, at least you are trying – so get a friend and go again!
- You don’t want to owe someone a favor – you don’t want to feel indebted to someone. But, if you respond with gratitude, the person probably won’t expect anything in return. And, if down the road, you CAN return the favor, even better!
- Don’t want to appear weak – see above – you are STRONG if you admit you need help!
- Fear of rejection – it sucks to be told no. But remember, the person you asked probably has a good reason to deny your request. Ask someone else who might be able to help instead.
So, how to ask for help; what’s the secret?
Keep it simple. Be specific with your requests. Be generous by also helping others. There is no real “secret” – you just need to figure out that you actually need help, get over yourself and do it.
And make sure to say thank you. 🙂
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